Yup! You heard that right! We’re welcoming a sweet little one come late August/Early September…because with these Urban babes ya just never know! 😉 We are equally excited, terrified, grateful, and joyful and yes, THIS IS OUR LAST ONE!
In case you are interested, I wrote a little bit about the story of just how we came about welcoming baby numbero 4 below.
First, I wanted to share God’s goodness and faithfulness with y’all, even in the midst of pain and sorrow, he is GOOD. It’s a crazy thing to be able to sit with immense grief and joy simultaneously and hold on to HOPE even when you have no clarity or direction of the future. But always, GOD. I’m sure we’ve all seen our share of varying pain in the last couple of years, Hello 2020, and here’s a little snippet of ours.
My Father passed away August 2018 and walking through that loss, along with what has come with that loss, is a type of grief I wish on absolutely no one. It’s a deep pain that left a giant hole in my heart and yet through it all, I have felt God carry me and our family, to walk, if not stumble a bit, through this loss. My father’s presence was a great one and without him here on earth, it feels even more substantial. Lucky for him, he’s walking with his Father in Heaven, which if you knew him even a little bit, would be the absolute greatest joy he’s ever known.
Around the one-year loss of my Dad, my older boys started praying for a baby. I assure you, it was through no prompting of my own (HA!) but I remember laughing at thinking of what my Dad might say to that. They talked about it randomly and by the time later Fall hit and we were entering the Holidays, my middle son wanted two things for Christmas. Karate lessons and a baby (sister). Nothing else. He prayed every night to me, to Jesus, and told me he even told Santa, so it was a double “wish”.
I assured them all that Mommy’s plate was quite full and that God doesn’t always give us our prayers handed out like an Aladdin Genie. God knows our hearts and in any event, he hears our prayers, and who knows, maybe we’re here to help another momma who needs us to care for her baby someday.
Little did they know I found out I was pregnant *SURPRISE!* with baby #4 at the end of November. At first, I couldn’t believe it (OMG FOUR!) and then there was this crazy sense of peace like it must have just been meant to be all along. My family always said I’d have four kids and despite my arguments against it, I actually did feel like this would be it. Our last child to complete our family. I was so excited to tell Maverick and wait for his reaction.
At my 10 week appointment, on January 3, 2020, I found out the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I can’t quite describe this feeling other than complete and utter shock. I had 3 healthy pregnancies before and my naivety to the situation just took me for a whirl. It was a grueling couple of months that followed but I knew, God was holding me once again. I know so many women who have gone through this pain and/or who yearned for a child of their own I felt like I just couldn’t share what I was going through. I was more grateful than ever for my 3 boys and the way they loved me and of course, kept me occupied 😉 Because of that, I felt like I was already blessed with them and I wanted to be sensitive to what other women have gone through and honor their pain somehow too.
Long story short, we weren’t sure it would ever happen again, and considering some own personal changes that took place after my D&C surgery earlier in the year, I just felt like God knows what’s best for my life, and will walk us through what we needed. It felt like one of us was now missing but also, I really felt that if God wanted to have us another baby, he would.
And he certainly did. By total fluke, on January 3rd, 2021 I took a pregnancy test while on the phone with my sister joking about how crazy that would be, really wanting to open this fancy bottle of wine to honor what I had gone through the last year, and believe it or not, the test just slightly lit up. I thought I took it wrong, so I waited, took it again the next day, and then took 5 more tests over the next couple of days until I finally told Kenny a week later. I needed to sit with the news for a bit! 😉
SO, here we are. After months of being so super anxious and fearful and all the things that the enemy does to try and come in to steal your joy – umm….why does he have to be so RUUDDEEE?? We are here, 17 weeks a couple days with a new little one. Still can’t believe I’m typing that. I have prayed and continue to believe this little babe will complete our family and am filled with excitement and joy and OH MY GOODNESS I’m going to have FOUR KIDS! Hahhaaha! And y’all, this belly be POPPIN! I guess that’s what happens after 5 pregnancies!
To top it all off, Maverick (my middle love), of course, was the most excited. He said he knew one day God would answer his prayers… sometimes they just take time. 😉
I never ever want to lose the kind of faith a child has…
